Ever had a bullying boss? Chances are, they had solar plexus chakra stuff going on

You know how people talk about having ‘fire in the belly’? That’s an indirect reference to the solar-plexus chakra, which is the energy centre concerned with personal power and control. This is an energy centre I’ve had constant blocks so I’m very familiar with it.

Symbolised by the element of fire, the solar plexus is the third chakra, sitting above the base and the sacral chakras. Located in the middle of your back and belly (just above the navel), it’s all about asserting your power without dominating other people, having will power and being comfortable with your place in the world.

People with blocks in the solar-plexus chakra might be doormats, or at the other end of the scale they could be bullies. They could be low in self-esteem or they could be workaholics.

If your energy in this chakra is balanced, you’ll be confident, flexible, self-disciplined, able to take responsibility for your actions and will have a good appreciation of your personal power (i.e. you don’t need to exert power over others to feel important). You’re just as happy to lead as to be led. You’ll also be warm and playful, because sense of humour is strongly connected to this energy centre (hence the saying ‘belly laughs’).

Even though chakras deal with esoteric energy, your physical energy is also at play in this chakra. If this chakra is balanced, you use your energy wisely – you don’t overextend yourself for long periods, and you don’t waste it on people who drain you.

While the base chakra was about fear and the sacral chakra was about guilt, the solar plexus’ enemy is shame.

(Image: the solar -plexus chakra symbol)

Essentially this chakra about owning your identity and being at peace with where you’re at in life – and it makes sense that that’s lacking in people who are bullies, workaholics or constantly angry.

People who are deficient in energy in the solar plexus chakra might display these characteristics:

· Low or no self-esteem

· Share no opinions, ever

· Avoid conflict at all costs

· Say yes to everything asked of them (hello, doormat!)

· Rely on other people’s validation to feel like they matter

· Passive approach to life (letting opportunities pass them by)

· Victim mentality

· Constant worry about what other people think of them

People with excessive energy in this chakra might have some of these things going on:

· Arrogance

· Constant need to have things their way (in the extreme: bullying)

· A need to be right and to have the last word

· Always having something to prove (typical of workaholics)

· Aggressive and prone to outbursts of anger

· Domineering and controlling

· Always criticising other people and very judgmental

· Perfectionism

· Always stressed out

Balancing this chakra comes back to instilling a healthy sense of self-esteem. If there’s something deep that’s proving an obstacle to healthy self-worth, seeking professional counsel could be helpful. Setting a goal and working towards it can help, as that requires you to back yourself and see yourself as worthy of success. If outbursts of anger are an issue for you, addressing the underlying issues could also be beneficial. Anger is a secondary emotion – it’s always masking a deeper problem, usually a fear of some sort. And of course, reiki is a brilliant way to clear blocks in any chakra.

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.  

This is what happens when you don't listen to your body

Are you listening to your body when it tells you what it needs? Because if you’re not, it will find a way to reach you – and you probably won’t like it when it does.

Here’s what recently happened to my friend. She does very long hours, often long into the night, and admits she doesn’t really understand the meaning of the word ‘rest’. For months her body had been giving her cues that her stress levels were out of control, but she kept on going. So her body found a way to reach her that she could not ignore. 

Last week the poor thing fell over in the most ridiculously freak-accident way – and got a concussion. She went to work the next day – but felt so dizzy she had to go home. The next day she could barely get out of bed. The following day she went to work and had to come home because her head was throbbing. On the weekend she went to brunch with a friend and had to get her friend to drive her car home as she was too exhausted. Having had a concussion myself, I know how frustrating this can be – and that it takes a really long time to get back to normal functioning.

Look, accidents happen – and I wouldn’t recommend going looking for a reason when they do. But in this case I can’t help but wonder if her body and the Universe have conspired to get her to give it what she so desperately needs – rest, and a lot of it. 

What I’m getting at here is there’s only so long you can go on running yourself ragged. Your body cannot sustain an exhaustive pace forever, so unless you give it regular time-outs, it will short out in some way. In the modern age where busyness is a religion, we like to think we can do so much more than what we have physical capacity for – our brains are writing out cheques that our bodies can’t cash, I guess you could say. This is why people get sick as soon as they go on holiday. This is also why people get colds and coughs that linger for weeks at a time, then return a month later – because they didn’t stop and let the illness take its course, allowing their immunity to build back up. Instead they took Codral and kept turning up to work.

Maybe my friend’s accident is purely bad luck, but I don’t really believe in luck and the angels have taught me there’s no such thing as coincidence. But regardless of the cause, my friend is benefiting hugely from this enforced period of rest, as frustrating as it is.

When your body tells you to stop, it’s a good idea to listen – before it *makes* you listen.

Emotions, taking us over. How emotions, creativity and sexual energy affect your wellbeing

Following last week’s post about the base chakra, I’m delving into the sacral chakra. This is the energy centre that angel card creator Doreen Virtue calls the "sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll chakra". Oh boy, this is going to get interesting...

Located just below your navel, the sacral chakra is the energy centre in your body concerned with pleasure, creativity, sexual expression and emotions. All the good stuff, in other words!

An imbalance in this chakra shows up for a lot of people, because it governs how you connect with others – which is a pretty fundamental aspect of the human experience. People with poor energy flow in the sacral chakra might be difficult to get close to – or at the other end of the scale, they could be needy and clingy in their relationships. In extreme situations they might battle addictions (and not just to drugs or alcohol; this could include addictions to food, sex , shopping or drama!).*

Emotional balance is a major component of this chakra. Remember that emotions are energy in motion (hence: e-motion), so the way they flow is significant. If emotions fester and stagnate that can result in an imbalance in your sacral chakra. The way to avoid that stagnancy? Learning how to let go... no biggie, then!

Having emotional balance means you don’t hold back with your emotions – which would make you cool and detached – but you’re not overruled by your emotions either. So you can be angry and express that, but you don’t project it onto others. Here’s what an emotional overreaction looks like: if you give someone at work a task to complete, instead of simply telling you that they’re too busy right now but they’ll deal with it tomorrow, they fly off the handle and, in a raised voice, start ranting about how busy they are and no one understands and everyone’s out to get them and and and... (yeah, you know the type).

(Image: the sacral chakra symbol)

While the base chakra’s biggest challenger is fear, the sacral chakra’s adversary is guilt. This shows up in people feeling saddled by obligations, because guilt is stopping them from setting healthy boundaries. Particularly highlighted is guilt around sexuality. For example, at a subconscious level there may be guilt about violating family or societal expectations, such as ‘living in sin’ (Catholic guilt, anyone?!). Even though you may be content with your choices, you may have an irrational guilt playing out in the background around operating outside family norms – particularly for women, who are still expected to be 'good girls'. Sounds weird, but sometimes our desire to conform and our desire to meet our own needs can cause internal conflict that we’re not even aware of.

Other guilt stuff that can result in a block with this chakra – people who’ve cheated on someone or deceived a partner in some way (perhaps by pretending you were still happy in a relationship but you really wanted to leave). 

Sadly, because this chakra concerns sexuality, it is commonly out of balance in people who have been the victims of inappropriate sexual behaviour.

People who have a deficient energy flow in the sacral chakra might have some of these characteristics:

* emotionally distant, and very hard to form close connections with (they put up barriers)

* lack of passion in their lives (no hobbies, no creative expression) 

* martyr mentality (this is all about feeling shackled by perceived obligations)

* dislike of being touched (related: low libido)

* tendency to destroy anything that offers them pleasure (i.e. relationships, household stability)

People who have an excessive energy flow in the sacral chakra might demonstrate some of these qualities (I have worked with a lot of people who fit into this category):

* addictions (this includes people who are addicted to creating drama)

* hedonism

* tendency to blame others for their problems

* unable to be alone (always jumping from one relationship to the next)

* dependent on others (needy)

* mood swings

* tendency to respond with an excess of emotion 

By the way, you can be BOTH excessive and deficient at the same time (weird, I know).

Some ideas to rebalance the sacral chakra:

· Movement and flow are a major focus of this chakra, so exercise is important – particularly in a form that brings you pleasure (surfing, dancing, cycling etc).

· Yoga is recommended (because it includes so many hip openers).

· This chakra’s element is water, so make sure you drink lots of water and spend time around water (ocean, lakes etc) if you’re struggling with emotions.  

· Creative expression will help a lot, so get going on any creative project that calls to you.

· Letting go is important, through whatever means you find helpful – counselling, NLP, affirmations around releasing old hurts etc.

Phew – so that’s the sacral chakra.

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.  

What makes someone an inspiration? And is it really fair to call them that?

Has anyone else noticed how often the word ‘inspirational’ is used these days? On the TV show The Voice recently a contestant was described as an inspiration  – which he absolutely was – so many times that it started to sound a little trite. It got me thinking – what actually makes someone inspiring? And if that description is based on someone’s physical disability, as it was in this case, is that label helpful?  I have a very personal reason to be cautious about my use of the word ‘inspiration’.

But let me backtrack.

I know a lot of my readers are overseas, so I’ll explain first up that The Voice is number one in Australia’s ratings every night it airs, so please forgive me for this reality TV reference – everybody is talking about this show. A few weeks back, a wonderful man called Tim moved us all with his soaring, angelic (and I do not use that descriptor lightly) rendition of Nessun Dorma. But although the coaches did speak highly of his vocal prowess, what dominated their appraisals on that night and on his two subsequent performances was the word ‘inspirational’. You see, Tim is in a wheelchair, paralysed from the chest down. This means he cannot feel his diaphragm – a muscle singers need to control in order to perfect their sound. This truly makes him inspirational because he refused to give up on his dream of singing, and displayed remarkable tenacity to find a way to attain such vocal purity.

But here’s where I had an issue (and yes, I know I’m focusing on the wrong thing) – it felt like he didn't get the same treatment as other contestants. I can certainly understand why the coaches focused on his remarkable story initially, but as he progressed in the competition they didn’t give him anything constructive to work on, or spur him on to greater things as they did for other contestants (although I realise this may be due to TV editing). I can’t speak for Tim but I did wonder whether he might have preferred that his voice be judged on its own merit, as it was for the able-bodied contestants. He did comment that he was proud to have the opportunity to inspire people to pursue their dreams no matter what obstacles they face, so it’s clear that he was happy to be seen as inspirational. This is only my opinion, but I think he deserved to be portrayed on the show as a talented singer, not a singer in a wheelchair. I say this because many disabled people yearn for people to see beyond their disability. Their deepest desire is to be accepted for what they are (talented, valuable) rather than what they are not (able bodied).

My sister is disabled. Her physical challenges are complicated and largely diagnosable but to give you a very broad overview, she has skeletal deformities which have given her a noticeable hunchback and impaired her lung function. With just 17 per cent lung capacity she is constantly short of breath, can’t walk far (she has a wheelchair for long distances) and is chronically low on energy.  If you should ever meet her – you should; she’s rad! – I would strongly suggest you never tell her inspires you. She will get very, very cross with you.

And this is why. Although she deals with challenges that most of us do not, she does not see herself as lacking in any way. She does not wake up every morning and decide to be heroic, she simply gets up and gets on with her day, the same as you and I do. She is not a battler, not a role model, and not special. Like all of us, she is simply playing the hand she’s been dealt. As she puts it: “I am not an inspiration, I am just living my life.”

As a society we have been known to put the disabled on a pedestal instead of treating them as equals, and there’s something inherently patronising about that. A random older lady once told my sister: “It’s lovely to see you people out and about.” This makes my blood boil. Firstly, anyone who uses the phrase ‘you people’ to isolate a group of humans can fuck off back to Judgment Town. Secondly, anyone who derives personal satisfaction from bearing witness to my sister's grocery purchases is clearly living a very small life.

I love my sister with a fierceness that I had not known possible before her arrival, and I deeply admire her for her buoyant spirit, her emotional resilience, her commitment to fighting for social justice and her beautiful heart, among countless other things. But she is not an inspiration to me. Saddling her with the label ‘inspirational’ would highlight the ways she is different from me instead of giving her the space to simply be herself. No one should be defined by their weight, skin colour or any other element concerning their physical body. The body, after all, is just a home that your soul lives in.

We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are. And we all absolutely deserve that.

Maybe, instead of looking to other people for inspiration, we should be our own heroes. That’s what an inspiration is, right? It’s someone who motivates you to be better than you are today. Maybe you could go ahead and just be that person yourself. Pretty radical, hey?  

Even if it's cold outside, you can make your own sunshine

Yes, it’s very cold. It’s winter; that happens. (Apologies to my northern hemisphere readers – I’ll direct you back to this post in December.) Since it’s harder to fall in love with life when the days are grey and your fingers are blue, I thought I’d share some of the ways I like to warm myself up. Not physically – I’d like to think you have your heating sitch sorted (if not, call your dad; I can’t help you) – but from within. Basing your happiness levels on what’s happening outdoors is a risky play, but bringing pockets of joy into your own world no matter what the temperature is a pretty good foundation. It starts with the little things, and gratitude and joy flow from there. Even if it’s summer where you are, seeking out ways to break up the ‘work/eat/sleep/rinse and repeat’ routine can give you a fresh lease on life.

Here are some of my favourite winter warmers:

·         Cheese and crackers on the floor – just for yourself. I love doing this on a Friday night… putting on a DVD and sitting on the floor with a doona (non-Aussie friends: that’s a quilt). If I had enough clean sheets, I’d be making a fort. (Play is not just for children, you know.)

·         Buying new music. Music has the ability to take you someplace else. You can never have too much of it in your life. Get downloading (legally, obvs).

·         Wearing sexy undies under trackpants. Because, in case no one has told you this lately, you are really hot. Don’t forget that.

·         Rearrange the furniture in your room or your house. Make a wall montage by printing off a bunch of rad pictures from Pinterest, and interspersing them with snaps of your favourite people. If this isn’t a good reminder of what matters in life, I don’t know what is.

·         Drink new herbal teas. Never, ever underestimate the power of tea. I call it a hug in a mug, for good reason.

·         Candles. Burning a fragrant candle can completely change the energy of your house = instant mood lift. Remember to buy only soy or beeswax candles though – paraffin is toxic.

·         Book a holiday, and start planning it. Sometimes having something to look forward to is all it takes to break up a sense of routine.

·         Buy a luxe lifestyle magazine. Then sit and read it, from cover to cover. You guys remember what magazines are, right? I hope so.

·         Start a happiness jar, like Liz Gilbert. She swears by it.

·         Movement – in any form. Dance around your house. Go to a dance class. Go for a run. Getting your body moving will lift your endorphins.

Got any suggestions? Post to my Facebook page or my Instagram post.