There’s an old saying that doing nothing is never so satisfying
as when there’s something else you’re supposed to be doing. These summer
holidays I’ve found that to be true.
The idea of relaxing in the sun, chowing down on
berries, doing crosswords and napping every afternoon seemed so appealing to me
last December, as I scrambled to get my work projects completed on deadline and
board that plane. My body told me in no uncertain terms that it really really
really needed rest. How delicious! Except...
After Christmas, with the presents unwrapped and the family
obligations wrapped, I found myself unable to switch off. I couldn’t prize my
phone from my hands. I spent hours every day on my personal Instagram account,
which I usually check only once a week (side note: did you know that Instagram
emails you ‘what you missed’ messages if you go more than a week without
checking it – needy much?!). I turned on TV, knowing there was nothing on. I
kept checking my work emails.
My new books remained barely touched. I took so long
cracking into crosswords that my sister jumped in and finished them for me. I
took no naps.
I am so used to being connected and juggling multiple
tasks that I do not know how to do nothing. When you’re self-employed, work
never fits within a neat nine-to-five, Monday-to-Friday framework – messages
that need responses can come in at any hour. But really, that’s just an excuse
I make to justify my reliance on my phone. The reality is, there is no need for
me to know what everyone else is doing and saying at any given moment. I am on
holiday and the best use of my time right now is doing nothing, to recharge my
batteries and allow my body to rest. That involves disconnecting from the outside
world and being fully present where I am right now. This is something I’ve had
to retrain myself to do.
I have started put my phone on the bench, instead of
next to me, and only checking it when I get an SMS. I have got stuck into my
novel. I even went for a walk outside. I have got my daily meditation practice,
which had fallen by the wayside sometime around November, back on track. It has
felt weird to do nothing, but it also felt… right.
I’ve got a lot of arse to kick in 2016. But for now, I
need to rest.
It’s just a case of reminding myself how to do that…