Tis the season for an onslaught of New Year ‘Imma
change everything’ status updates and extreme healthy eating promises that will
be long forgotten by February.
I’m guilty of the same.
Almost every year, an editor will commission me to
write a feature about how people can make their New Year resolutions last, and
I dutifully interview an expert who will utter proclamations about goals that
are ‘achievable’, ‘realistic’ and ‘meaningful’ – great guidelines that I never
take on board myself. Every December I find myself taking stock of my life and making
plans for how I can improve myself. And every December I find myself reaching
more or less the same conclusion: the
most significant changes in the year were the ones I did not intend to happen.
The significant growth I’ve made this year has been a byproduct rather than a
direct result of any actions I took.
Here were my nine (wait, what?!) goals for 2015, and
an assessment of how they went:
LEARN REIKI. I did it! I’m now a fully qualified (and practising) reiki
practitioner.
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| One Grounded Angel's display at the Festival Of Dreams. |
BUILD MY BLOG
WITH THREE POSTS A WEEK. I started off
well, but by about June I realised how demanding this was, and I pulled back to
once or twice a week, which I’ve maintained successfully. But the blog has
definitely grown steadily, along with my social media audience, so I’m calling
this a win.
MORE FUN. Having realised how out of balance my life was, I decided
to lock in one fun activity a month. This is the sad reality of being a busy
adult – fun has to be scheduled. This started off brilliantly. I went indoor
trampolining. I hired a bike and rode along an unfamiliar stretch of coastline.
I said yes to weekends away with people I did not know. I used my tax refund to
book a trip to New York (finally!). But when the weather got colder I stopped
making this a priority. It’ll be a focus for 2016 too, but in a less regimented
format.
DO YOGA ONCE A
WEEK. I kept this up for most of the year – and really
benefited from it – until I went on holiday in August and never really went
back. I want to commit to this again.
DO MORE
PROFESSIONAL ANGEL CARD READINGS. Nailed
it.
WRITE TWO SHORT
STORIES (FICTION). I wrote one
(which isn’t too shabby) and started another (which had good framework but I
lost enthusiasm for it). I’d like to at least get this partial story completed.
Not for the story itself but because the process of making time for creativity
benefits me on so many levels.
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| I made it to New York! Here I am at the Empire State Building. |
GET THREE WORTHY
FEATURES PUBLISHED. I set this goal
because the stories I’d been writing (for work) were mediocre, and I wanted to
write stories that align with my overarching goal of purpose of helping people
live more meaningful lives. I managed to do two features that fit this goal,
and have been commissioned to write for another in 2016. A partial win.
DO MORE VOLUNTEER
WORK. Fail. I have continued volunteering at a retirement
home one Saturday a week but did not take on anything extra. This is also worth
revisiting in 2016.
IMPROVE MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF. I set this goal
because my self-esteem was stupidly low, and I knew that the only way I could
improve my relationships with others was to improve my relationship with
myself. Initially I had a goal to write down two things I liked about myself at
the end of the day and put them into a jar. This lasted about three months
before I lost interest in this project. Then I set out to say three uplifting
affirmations to myself in the mirror every morning, but this, too, fell by the
wayside (is anyone else seeing a pattern here?!).
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| New Year's Day 2015. |
Even though I abandoned this last resolution, I think it’s
the area in which I’ve grown most – and that
happened when I focused on other things. I took a risk and started a new
business which required me to back myself, and to stand out as a healer (which
was an uncomfortable but rewarding experience). I made an effort to build
friendships instead of hiding myself away due to fear of rejection. I did work
on forgiving myself for choices I’ve made in the past and forgiving others that
have hurt me, which helped me find peace. I made a conscious effort, towards
the end of the year, to embrace my individuality instead of constantly
comparing myself to others and feeling like a failure because I do not have the
things that they have (or appear to have – and I still have more work to do in
this area). All of these things have helped bring me to a point of friendship
with myself. That is my lasting legacy
of 2015. And as I think about my goals for 2016, I’m more aware that
whether I succeed or fail at them won’t much matter. Yes it’s important to extend
myself and deepen my connection with my soul, my people and my work, but the
growth is what happens in the spaces between.