I had to spend most of my weekend without internet or
mobile access, and it was HORRIBLE. This is not the most significant event of
my weekend – it was a beautiful getaway with friends to a country house about
two hours north of Sydney, in the Hunter Valley wine region – but this struggle with switching off is what I want to talk about here.
At first I welcomed the opportunity to distance
myself from the outside world and settle into the stillness. That lasted about
half an hour. The only thing that settled was a feeling of restlessness into my
bones. At the heart of it: fear of missing out (I think the kids call this
FOMO), fear of boredom and fear of being alone with my thoughts, in case I would
be confronted by something I didn’t want to deal with. I suspect this latter
reason is at play in many modern-life distractions: everything from excessive food and alcohol intake to dead-end relationships.
Luckily – or unluckily, depending on your perspective
– someone mentioned they’d received a good signal in the driveway. Rejoice! From
here I was able to check in on the blog, do my daily angel card posts (which
appear on the home page, and on my Instagram @onegroundedangel). You can
probably guess what happened. Once I had taken care of those tasks I found
myself checking Facebook, Twitter, the weather, the cricket score (I don’t even
like cricket!), the weather (yes, again), various news sites, my five email
accounts… No longer was I relaxing, enjoying my friends’ company and breathing
in the fresh country air, I was engaging with people and situations elsewhere. Not
being present. Not being with my friends. Not being here, in this moment, the
only moment that is real. What a waste.
By distancing myself from the group (no one else
seemed to have a problem staying away from the internet) and standing very still
(internet coverage was patchy) on a gravel driveway by myself, what I was
essentially saying was that I care more about the lives of people in other cities,
other countries – most of whom I don’t actually know – than I do about the people
who had been sitting next to me, spending time with me in the here and now.
Recently researchers at the University of Missouri in the
US identified a trend called iPhone separation anxiety. Although not
a clinically recognised disorder, this term does describe what appears to be a
growing problem – our inability, or reluctance, to switch off. You see it in
restaurants when couples don’t even talk to each other – they’re too busy on their phones. In this study, participants reported anxiety and poor
cognitive functioning when separated from their iPhones.
This, coupled with the events of the weekend, have
spurred me to do a study of my own. Starting from tonight, I’m switching off
all social media for a week. I’ve done this before, and really felt the
benefits, so I’m confident I can follow through. I’ll still log in to do my
daily angel card reading and will update the blog, but that’s it. It’s time to
remind myself that my life exists in the here and now, and not on a tiny
screen.
God help me.
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| The beautiful spot where I spent my weekend. |