I’ve recently returned from a holiday overseas, which was absolutely everything I needed it to be. Not only did the trip do the world of good for my health and wellbeing, but it also gave me plenty of opportunities for self-reflection. Here is some of what came to light.
I am better at dealing with unfamiliar situations than I used to be. I remember five
years ago when I was visiting Vancouver, I got hopelessly lost and became so
worked up about it that I couldn’t decipher my map. Embarrassingly, I started
crying. I did become lost several ttimes on this trip (it’s inevitable) and
although it was frustrating I noticed it no longer sends me into panic mode.
Which meant I was therefore more open to the opportunities it would open up.
And that’s because…
I am better at talking to strangers than I used to be. I will never be
entirely comfortable at meeting new people, but I have noticed that over the
past year I am less likely to freeze and stammer awkwardly than I used to be.
This sounds like a minor thing but what it shows me is that I am more
comfortable within myself than ever before.
Nice people are everywhere. They really are. Without me
asking (I have never been good at asking for help), people will detect that you
need assistance. I had people grab hold of one end of my suitcase when I was
struggling with it on the subway stairs. People approach me and offer guidance
when I was trying to work out which side of the avenue I needed to be on.
People walk up to me and start chatting when they saw me drinking alone. And
that was in New York – which I’d been led to believe was full of hard,
aggressive people.
More than being in a new location, it’s being out of your normal routine
that benefits you the most. In the absence of concerns about
work, relationship conflicts, household chores and general life admin, it’s
easier to be fully present in the moment. You soak in sights, smells and
energies that you don’t notice in your everyday world. You’re transported back
to a child-like state of wonder and life feels like an adventure again. Every
day I was away felt like it lasted at least two days, and it was glorious. Of
course it’s not possible for this to shape every day of your life, but I’d like
to find ways to bring back more wonder into my daily life and be more cognisant
of the beauty that makes up my world.
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| Me, Brooklyn Heights, Manhattan behind me. |
I am essentially a good person. I noticed that whenever customer service clerks were rude to me, which was often, I would always endeavour to counter that with an overdose of politeness. I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t partially to draw attention to their rudeness. But mostly it was because I could tell they really needed someone to be nice to them. I’m being overly simplistic here because I don’t think there’s a need to dress this up: if you can spend time among rude people and not become rude yourself, you’re probably a good person.
Other people might take your holiday personally. I don’t mean
that literally, as in, other people will come along for the ride, but I have
found that many people processed my holiday stories and photos in relation to
their own lives, even though my trip had nothing to do with anyone else. When I
posted holiday photos (and I did limit them to two or three pictures a day),
some people would rush in and comment how they’d already been there and seen
that, as if this made them somehow superior. Some would openly say: ‘I’m so
jealous!’ Which I find baffling. (If you want a holiday, why don’t you just book
one? It’s not like I have something you can’t have.) And then when I returned, some people apparently thought I needed to be
brought down a peg or two, so without me even speaking they would make smirking comments like: ‘I bet you feel like
you never even left!’ and ‘you're not on holiday now!’ I’m not sure why some
people are resistant to other people having a good time. People are
weird.