Often when people tell me they’re battling indecision, they will say they don’t know what they want to do. But what I find in many cases is that, deep down, they actually do know what they want to do, it’s just that something is preventing them from committing to that path (usually, fear). There are a few factors that can play out in such situations:
· Fear of what others will think – if you’ve had a critical parent or were socially conditioned to make other people happy, this may be a trouble spot for you
(Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash)
· Fear of letting people down – this is particularly hard if you are a people pleaser or had to ‘earn’ love (perhaps due to a narcissist in the family), this may show up for you
· Fear of making a mistake/getting it ‘wrong’ – if you’re a perfectionist or have anxiety, this can be a real challenge
· Inability to trust your intuition – if you are an overthinker it may be tough to surrender control to where the Universe may be steering you
· Conflict between what looks good on paper and what actually feels right.
What people believe they need in situations of uncertainty is a guarantee about what path is right for them. So they go looking for what seems the most likely outcome – for example: ‘Job B looks like a place I’d enjoy working, but Job A has the best opportunities for promotion because it’s a bigger company’. But what they actually need is not guarantees nor an accurate weighing of likelihoods, it’s courage to step forward in the direction they know deep down is right for them (in this case, Job B) – fully accepting that they may, in fact, screw it up. Courage is the key to moving through indecision, not certainty.
The thing about decisions is that when we refuse to make them, we are, in effect, making a decision… to stay stagnant. That’s the most dissatisfying option, generally – but the one that often feels safest.
It is may be reassuring to remember that it is often far easier to course-correct later if you do get it ‘wrong’ than to avoid making a decision at all. How many times have you made a tough decision that created welcome changes in your life, then looked back later and thought: ‘I wish I’d done this years ago!’
(Photo by Nick Seagrave on Unsplash)
Of course, this is all very simplified – but sometimes, simplicity is exactly what we need in these situations. When we fall down the rabbit hole of overanalysing every possible avenue and canvassing the opinions of everyone we talk to, we add layers of complexity to a decision that can bury the simple truth underneath. That simple truth can often be identified by answering this one question: What does my heart want me to do?
It’s worth remembering, too, that in spiritual terms there are no wrong choices. Even if something doesn’t work out the way we’d hoped, it will have taught us something valuable, which means it technically isn’t a mistake at all. Think about it: we don’t learn much when things go to plan. The biggest life lessons you’ve learned will have come from working through challenges. That’s tough to remember when you’re in the thick of it, I know, but definitely worth bearing in mind.
If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, such as fear blocks, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.