I'm not very good at being sick (who is?). I rail at
the unfairness of not being able to follow through with my plans, trying desperately to convince my body it's fine,
silently seething at the sick people who probably infected me (damn you,
coughing man on the bus!). Since I'm self-employed I lose money for every day I
don't work, so I can't help but panic about the hit to my income... which only magnifies the
unrest within my body instead of promoting rest (so helpful). It's a shitty
situation, and yet, a very necessary one.
Recently I was struck down by a sinus infection that
morphed into a chest infection. I was confined to bed for almost three days,
too weak and feverish to move. And I was miserable.
When situations like this happen - which is very rare for me as my
immune system is really robust - it's difficult to remind myself that being
sick is NORMAL. There is nothing wrong with me. My body has not shut down
because it's broken, it has shut down because it wants to be stronger... and for
that to happen, it needs to rest and rejuvenate. That quote 'almost everything
works best if you turn it off and turn it on again' is pretty on point when it
comes to colds and flus.
But because we live in a 'go go go' culture, resting
is frowned upon. We try to 'soldier on' instead of giving our bodies what they
actually need - rest, and acceptance of our present circumstances. Our to-do list seems so much more
important than our health (even though, without our health, we can't do
anything). Then we wonder why we feel wiped out and then get sick again later.
Why is it so hard for us to listen to our bodies?
We also have a tendency to talk ourselves into being
sick... not ideal. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone in the office declare: 'I think I'm
getting sick' or 'there's something going around - everyone's getting sick' I'd
be a very rich woman. When we talk or think about illness as an inevitability -
even in jest - the body responds by winding down our defences. The body, after
all, is programmed to respond to messages from the brain. I am not saying our
thoughts *make* us sick, obviously, but we do have the power to significantly
increase the likelihood that we'll fall prey to bacteria and viruses with the
messages we send our bodies. I regularly say to myself 'I have great health'
and 'my immune system is strong'. This doesn't mean I never get sick (clearly)
but it does mean my defences are higher. Which means that when I do come down
with something, my body is really in need of rest.
The truth is, my body had been telling me for weeks that it needed
a break. (I have a holiday booked in very soon... but, unfortunately, not soon enough.) When I refused to listen to its pleas for relaxation, it forced me to listen.
Will I never learn?
I have a lot of work to do in this area. I say yes to
things that I know I don't have time for. I limit my sleep so I can fit more work in. I know I'm not the only one who does this. We are all writing cheques that
our bodies can't cash. I'm reminded of the Dalai Lama's response when he was
asked what surprises him most about humanity: 'Man. Because he sacrifices
his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate
his health.'
It's very clear to me that I need to break that
cycle.
